undecided

Lyric 17

by Jose Garcia Villa

I can no more hear Love’sVoice.

No more moves The mouth of her.

Birds No more sing. Words I speak return lonely.

Flowers I pick turn ghostly.Fire that I burn glows Pale.

No more blows The wind. Time tells No more truth.

Bells Ring no more in me.

I am all alone singly.

Lonely rests my head. —O my God! I am dead.

Lyric 57

by Jose Garcia Villa

My most. My most. O my lost!

O my bright, my ineradicable ghost.

At whose bright coast God seeks

Shelter and is lost is lost.

O Coast of Brightness. O cause ofGrief.

O rose of purest grief.O thou in my breast so stark and

Holy-bright. O thou melancholy Light.

Me. Me. My own perfidy.O my most my most, O the bright

The beautiful the terrible Accost.

You Shall Be Free

by Trinidad L. Tarrosa-Subido

I will not hold you by restraining hands

Nor yet by tears that silently accuse.

You shall be free—like waters on the strands

That come, and go, and tarry, as they choose.

I will not speak of days sweet to remember,

Of lanes we trod through April sun and shower,

Of twilight trysts through early-starred November,

Prolonged each twilight by an evening hour—No,

not a word to hint of that or this,

Lest speaking so, your going I impede.

I will resign myself to all that is—

Like unto sands when cooling waves recede.

O while the strength of seeing love undone

Still stands by me, I pray you, Love, be gone.

eto nanaman yung panahong nahihilig ako sa mga tula.Bumabalik yung dating ako,kung kelan hindi na ko sanay bakit ngayon pa nawala at BUMALIK.ayoko ng ganitong feeling hindi magaan sa loob.ayoko ng magisip ng kung ano ano pa kung ito ang makakabuti sige na lang.Ayoko ng makaramdam ng kahit ano kung pwede nga lang maging manhid siguro gagaan ang pakiramdam ko kahit papaano.Mahirap magtapang tapangan at lalong mahirap magkunwari.

slow

I just want to share my favorite poem as of the moment :

SNAIL

by Conchitina Cruz

You fall behind

Because of the cloud

On your back.

It is heavy'

With rainwater.

When I stop To wait,

You hide In the cloud,

Choosing to drown.

It maybe short but it is meaningful depending on a person's point of view. I'm currently loving my Philippine Literature subject every bit of it added to that my prof in that subject is oozing with good looks that can make any girls swoon with admiration but here's the catch: he's not into females ouch..yeah it also took me a while to let that sink in but still I like him and the subject that he's teaching, maybe because it's been a while since I had a literature subject the last time I remember having it is when Im in 4 th year highschool and obviously I missed studying it. But my rants don't end there the real deal is that I really feel that I'm not pushing myself to the limit with my study habits and the likes in other words Im not applying myself in school though 2 weeks is really early to conclude but I feel this urge to cut classes just for the sake of pleasure. I hope I'll get over this feeling before its too late -.-

goodbye summer...

WARNING: ang post na ito ay puno ng sari saring rants,kadaldalan at kung ano ano pa in no particular order so pasensya na kung ikaw ay maguguluhan,magtataka,maiinis o mabobore sa entry na ito anyway wala ka din naman magagawa kasi akin ang blog na ito so quits lang tayo orayt?hehe...

gusto ko lang sabihin,isigaw,iparating na oo ayoko pang pumasok!!!! :( last week aminado ako gustong gusto ko na pumasok dahil marami akong mga plano at aktibidades na gagawin sa linggong yun na napurnida dahil sa swine flu pero dahil sa nasiyahan ako sa week na ito mukhang ngayon lang ngsisink in saken ang saya at ligaya ng bakasyon T.T nooooooo!!!!!

simulan na lng naten nung june 8 isang napaka memorable na araw para smin ni panda, salamat na lang sa DFA at may rason ako para lumuwas at makita siya,kagaya nga ng nakalagay sa previous entry ko dun na namin idinaos ang kanyang kaarawan.marami kaming ginawang *ahem* memorable at unmentionable dito XD basta one of a kind yun ^________^

na nauwi nanaman sa isa pa uling masayang pangyayari dahil niyaya niya akong pumunta sa ako mismo event. Halos 2 days ako hindi mapakali at makatulog ng ayos dahil hindi ko alam kung saan ko huhugutin ang dahilan bakit ako luluwas.Nilambing lambing ko pa si daddy,gumamit pa ko ng kung ano anong rason at palusot pero dahil sa ayaw ako payagan sa huli napaamin din niya ko XD ayun sa awa ng diyos pumayag siya basta kasama yung kapatid ko haha oks lang kasabwat ko naman yun e XD

fastforward sa independence day...oo aaminin ko nung una gusto ko lang din ng dog tag pero nung nabasa ko sa dyaryo na for a good cause yung event mas lalo ko siya gusto puntahan.Ayun buong araw ulit kami magkasama ni panda plus yung isa niyang friend at yung kapatid ko. Napansin ko lang ang daming namakyaw ng dog tag hehe :)) parang gagawin business joke.
Na enjoy ko yung buong gabi at ang mas masaya dun pumayag yung parents kong tapusin namin hehe kahit 11 na natapos hindi sila nagalit ^_______^ ang laki ng tiwala nila kaya ayoko din naman abusuhin at sirain.

anyway ayun tapos na pagpapasarap haharapin ko nanaman ang realidad ng buhay bukas :( may pasok na ayoko pa talaga pumasok kahit magiging malaya nanaman akong gumala at magpagabi mamimiss at mamimiss ko padin ang bahay namin,ang kwarto ko,ang unlimited internet,ang unlimited sleep at unlimited food :( haaay parang hindi ko na maximize yung bakasyon sa mga worth it na bagay : isang beses lang ako nakapagdrawing,isang libro lang nabasa ko buong summer,hindi ko na meet yung highschool friends ko haaaay idagdag mo pa sa listahan na ang panget ng hairstyle ko ngayon alam ko mababaw pero isang factor padin yun XD haaay

mamimiss kita blog kasi hindi free ang internet ko pagschool days XD baka di kita masyado ma update tsk.mamimiss kita plurk bye bye nirvana :( mamimiss kita photoshop T.T

totoo nga ang kasabihan all good things come to an end.

june 8 = june 10 :)

MASAYA AKO :)

as a result I can't sleep ^____________^

Today is panda 's day :)) and because of the suspension of classes because of that @##@#$#4 swine flu we can't be together on panda's special day but because we are sneaky yes you read it right we decided to celebrate it yesterday hehehe...We had the chance to spend some quality time together, eat together,walk hand in hand,play together XD,puff a stick together just like the old times I really miss doing those things with panda because the summer vacation stripped away all those things from us -.- good things classes will start on june 15. :)

Our activities yesterday were extra special we went to random places (HOSPITAL-DORM-DFA-MALL-DORM) yet our adventurous feet never got tired actually whenever I'm with panda i never get tired what boggles my mind more is whenever i see panda smiling back at me I always notice those sparkling eyes ^_____________^ and it makes me fall in love with panda more :))

Pardon me for my "emomoments" in my past entries *lmao* seriously IDK what had happened to me that resulted in the posting of those entries shucks...

ANYWAY

I'm just here to greet panda a very happy and pandarific birthday ^_____________^ I love you!!! hindi ka na teenager XD pero ikaw padin ang nagiisang baby ko :) I seriously can't see myself without you ^________^ you're my no.1 coffee.panda.egg *KISS*

that's what you get when you let your heart win...

I'm bothered with things that I myself can't define. I'm tired of being useless of being nothing.I'm sick of being a burden especially to people who means so much to me. Maybe I need to find myself, know myself better first before entering commitments but no my heart, my emotions contradicts what my mind is commanding me, even though my mind bears a minimum amount of logic it has instincts, it knows when to stop.it knows when it's time to get over- to get it done with.

but then again and again my heart wins this never ending battle with my mind.I don't know if this is right,I want to fix this I really want to. I'm always facing the fact that yes I committed betrayal once and I'm guilty of being unappreciative but then again I'm always hoping and wishing for forgiveness and acceptance which up until now is not in my hands.

If you only know how much it pains me every time I am reminded of the drastic things that I have done,of the neglects that I have shown you. But it seems like you don't even have the time to notice my efforts.

I wish I could sleep tonight...

clueless.

just a while ago I was comforted with the thought of utterly pure bliss and relief but right then and there an unfathomable idea struck me far more worse than guilt.

It's as if I'm lost in a labyrinth..my instinct is tugging my mind that there is something wrong..I don't want to conclude but these are just plain and mere observations.

I hate guessing,I loathe perceiving,I am disgusted with the idea of half knowing

I don't want to be played upon again by my mind. :(

side effect ng kimi wa petto sa utak ko

Tick.click.clunk demmit this is still not good enough not even worth glancing upon.delete.erase hmmm...After almost 15 minutes of re typing and deleting words.sentences.phrases still I cannot comprehend and alter my brain to produce heart melting,eye popping hmp no I should not write to please other people's expectations or even to be judged.

Love stories..romantic movies..Everytime I finished watching movies,series about love wheter it be a sad and painful or a happy ever after ending I always end up craving for more seriously I want to decipher the different dimensions and uncertainties of loving.Call me a sentimental freak but i'm a heart on my sleeve kind of person.cheesy lines make me smile,sappy songs moves me and make me think heck even tag lines of romantic movies even gets me.

Maybe because it's so damn hard to find someone who can see right through you,looks inside your soul and knows you perfectly well.Someone you love for no reason at all because reasons are just like excuses.Someone who will stay :)

and I'm really glad I found ONE.

NIRVANA :)

matapos ang matitinding pagsubok

sa wakas pagkatapos ng walong buwan nakamit ko na din ang aking inaasam...

naabot ko na din ang plurk NIRVANA

abaaa..hnd ka naniniwala ....

ayan ang pruweba oh!*turo sa baba*

weee! ang saya saya

panda love

*turo*
base sa nakikita niyo sa itaas masayang masaya ang panda :)

siguro nagtataka kayo bakit?

kasi binisita ako ng itlog/panda love dito sa bahay namin ^_____^ nakilala na niya ang aking tatay, mga kapatid (love stureey,sharmaine)at mga pinsan (aleah and gab) kahit na may kaunting white lie ang pakilala ko sa kanya *ahem* XD haha nakakatuwa dahil nakasundo niya yung mga kapatid at pinsan ko lalo na si ineng (maarte)hahaha...goodshot siya kay epi yis!so kahit kelan pwede na siya magpabalikbalik dito sa bahay namin :))

oi panda kung nababasa mo ito thankyou sa effort mo para puntahan ako kahit di mo kabisado kung saan lupalop ako ng pilipinas nakatira pumunta ka pa din ang saya saya ko kanina parang ayaw na kita pauwiin hehe...I LOVE YOU! *gulong panda*