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Dear blog,

it's been a while since I felt yet another heartache, it's been a while since a a tear have rolled over my cheek. it's been a while since I felt like a normal teenage girl suffering from emo sh*tness. I'm on the verge of exploding and yet again she has no clue about it, on the brighter side I'm also happy at least I know I'm still susceptible to pain after months of experiencing pure bliss. I like this tag line from the movie eternal sunshine of the spotless mind "I already forget how I used to feel about you" I don't want to feel this but she seems to be pushing me to feel that way. Yeah I know we are a living contradiction but I also believe that opposite attracts We have proven that to be true after we decided to become lovers but seems as though the sparks are finally loosing their their shine in our relationship. My heart is turning into ice unable to feel and give anything and it sucks.

She doesn't understand me the way she used to, She don't and never tries to understand me. I thought she knew me I thought I knew her.

I want an anesthesia injected to my heart so that it will permanently stay cold and numb, I want to divert my attention to bear with this suffering. I don't want to forget you don't make me.

If only I could turn back time lalala...

not that into you

A Kind of Burning
(Ophelia Dimalanta)

it is perhaps because
one way or the other
we keep this distance
closeness will tug as apart
in many directions
in absolute din
how we love the same
tirvial pursuits and
insignificant gewgaws
spoken or inert
claw at the same straws
pore over the same jigsaws
trying to make heads or tails
you take the edges
i take the center
keeping fancy guard
loving beyond what is there
you sling at the stars
i bedeck the weeds
straining in song or
profanities towards some
fabled meeting apart
from what dreams read
and suns dismantle
we have been all the hapless
lovers in this wayward world
in almost all kinds of ways
except we never really meet
but for this kind of burning.

One of the many poems that touched not only my brain but also my heart! thanks for introducing me to this poem sir tim :)