an open letter to a rolling egg

hey!yeah you I know sooner or later you're gonna read this,I'm really not the confronting type of person so I resorted to blogging because I don't have the guts to tell you personally the reasons on why I've been acting weird,different and irritating this past few days. The first reason for that is boredom yeah you read it right boredom kills and as both of us knows I'm stuck here in the house with nothing good/productive thing to do and you're attending to your OJT maybe I'm just envious towards your daily routines/activities so I force myself to you even if you're too busy or at leisure time with your new found friends I know it's evil but I used to fight you so that you'll notice me (it's pathetic i know.)

Second is that I feel left out yes, this is the answer to your questions on why I clam up everytime you mention or talk about your co-OJT'S I don't know what to react or say because I don't know them personally as a result my responses to you are lame and curt OK's because I think If I don't reply a single word or sound you'll get mad and think I'm not interested or something.Another thing that bothers me that happens almost everytime we talk on the phone is that there are lots of distractions come on!it's really irritating you and I both know that our time talking on the phone is very limited but always there will be someone that will talk to you when they can for a fact see that you're talking on the phone really it's very RUDE. What sucks more is that I'm jealous towards him seriously I am pissed when you had drinking session with HIM I just pretended that I don't care.

Third is I know that after your daily routines you are tired so I don't disturb you as much as I want to not as much as before :( and more often than not when we text each other you always sleep on me I feel like you are not that interested in keeping in touch with me.

As a result I feel useless and unwanted, I hate this phase that we are going through right now I hate that were going through this separately I hope we can surpass this.

Now you're seeing and discovering the other side of me the shadowed one I know it's not easy to comply with a person like me, I hope you can still bear with my impatience,moodswings and rudeness.

I'm sorry for my short comings and craziness this past few days ILOVEYOU :(